"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you in with loving-kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt...and go out to dance with the joyful." - Jeremiah 31: 3-4

Sunday, March 21, 2010

I'm in a strange season of life at the moment. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm relying on God to provide or being straight out lazy. I need something to do and I need a job. Since I've been home, I have completely rearranged my room. I've cleaned it better than it's been cleaned in years. I finally went through my closet and got rid of the clothes I haven't worn since the 9th grade and threw out bags of unnecessary things that I had stored up on shelves and in drawers. Great, right? Yeah, well as nice as it is to have a clean and organized room, I can't just keep cleaning my room for the next five months. I hate being lazy! But I feel like that's all I've been doing here at home since I came back from school last May. I've been in and out of the country so much in the past eight months that I didn't really noticed how much my lack of having a job would affect me. Not only financially, but mentally and emotionally as well. We are warned to avoid idleness and unfortunately that it exactly what I am right now. Idle. Ugh, I hate to even say it but it's true.

Thankfully, I've just been given a small cleaning job that should keep me busy for a few days at least. My excitement about doing work was more of a gift from the Lord than the work itself. The past few days, I've been battling with whether or not I am simply a lazy person or if the right job just hasn't come up yet. When I felt truly joyful about being able to work, it was God showing me that I don't want to be lazy and that when a job is made available I will be happy to work. I know that He will provide me with the perfect job. I have no doubt about that, it's just a matter of when. Unfortunately, patience was never exactly my strong suit... but maybe that's just one more thing Jesus will teach me in this season.

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